


Regret

by Watermelonsmellinfellon



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Feels, Hannigram - Freeform, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Murder Husbands, Romance, Sad, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 23:52:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watermelonsmellinfellon/pseuds/Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will did kill Freddie and Hannibal gutted him anyway, under the wrong impression. Six months later, revelation is brought to Hannibal in the form of Bedelia and some very obvious advice. Now Hannibal must deal with the weight of his mistakes because Will is near comatose with depression and will most likely never forgive him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't cute and fluffy. For once, I wanted Hannibal's vaunted senses to fuck up. It is foolish to rely only one sense to tell you truth or not and the possibility for Hannibal to have made a mistake that day is great.
> 
> Imagine if after S3:E13 Will comes home from the market and Hannibal smells a perfume on him from when he bumped into someone. The same perfume someone at the BAU wore once. Is he going to get all huffy and murdery and try to go find them just to kill them?
> 
> It's stupid to think that only one person woudl wear a particular scent.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Hannibal.**

**I have no beta.**

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* * *

It was a spur of the moment decision, but Hannibal had always liked to read Freddie's interesting twists. She had a way with words and was truly made for journalism even if she was incredibly rude and had an appalling manner.

TattleCrime looked very different however.

It had only been six months since he'd bothered to look at anything that reminded him of his former life, but it seemed that the design of the entire website had changed as well as the color scheme, font, and overall presence. The viewer ratings was down and the number of viewers was also down.

There were some posts about local killers, nothing too riveting.

Hannibal realized why.

None of the updates were made by Freddie Lounds.

He checked back several dates and even a month, Freddie Lounds hadn't posted a single entry on TattleCrime.

Why was she still hiding? Did she fear that Hannibal would come after her? If that was the case, he wasn't feeling particularly moved to deal with her as of yet. While she was living on borrowed time, he had more interesting matters to handle now.

"You seem… confused."

He glanced up, seeing Bedelia leaning against the doorway, sipping from a glass of wine. It was a bit early in the day, but she had taken to drinking in excess since they'd come to Italy.

"Merely curious to see when the illustrious Miss Lounds reappears. TattleCrime has suffered a great loss without her," he commented, putting on a disinterested appearance.

Her shrewdness won out however and she fixed him with a blunt gaze. "Hannibal… if you truly left him behind, why do you insist on filling your life with things that remind you of him? This… connection between the two of you isn't as broken as you'd like to think."

"I left him for dead," insisted Hannibal.

Her cool stare never wavered, "I truly doubt that. You enjoy the chase and you  _want_  him to find you. It's been six months, Hannibal. How long will you pine after him after what you've done? What makes you so certain he'll want you after all this?"

He recoiled, glaring at his fellow blond. "Will brought it upon himself. There are always punishments in store for betrayal, he ought to have known that it would happen had he continued."

Bedelia's right brow arched silently and she held his eyes for a moment, before blinking slowly and sipping from her glass once again.

"I truly wonder what you'd do if you knew," she murmured, looking at the burgundy liquid.

"You realize that women do purchase the same perfume, correct? That it is entirely possible that you misconstrued the situation because you relied too heavily upon only  _one_  of your senses?" she asked him, still not looking up.

Hannibal could clearly remember the confusion in Will's pained eyes as he clutched his abdomen. His blatant refusals of wanting to kill Hannibal or imprison him. How he admitted to changing Hannibal and wanting the gift of Hannibal's trust.

"If you insist on… stewing in this mindset," Bedelia said, "I suggest you look at the posts made about a month after your disappearance. They will… shed some light on the situation for you."

She proceeded to turn around and walk away, leaving him to his confusion and annoyance.

Hannibal rarely made mistakes and he didn't appreciate the lack of faith in his ability of discernment.

Still, she seemed to know something he did not, so he clicked on the calendar at the top left of the site and went back to April, starting from there.

He passed eleven posts, before one caught his eye, mainly because it was of Will.

He was trussed up in a white straight jacket, with a matching mask placed over his face. His hair had been completely shaved off. His glasses were nowhere in sight and his eyes looked dead.

The following article was… painful.

**Former Special Agent Will Graham of the FBI Pleads 'Guilty by Way of Insanity' to the Murders of Randall Tier and Freddie Lounds!**

**_Graham had formerly been a trusted aid to the late Head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, Jack Crawford. He was a profiler of ultimate renown and no doubt the best the FBI had even come across. He was sociopathic however and lacked in friends and family, leaving him emotionally and mentally stunted in growth._ **

**_The murder of Tier started as self-defense when said man assaulted one of Graham's pets and then broke into his house with the intent to kill all within. Graham defended himself, but along the way, lost interest in justice and decided that he'd please his lover, the Chesapeake Ripper(Hannibal Lecter) with the body._ **

**_Lounds' murder was a, 'punishment for snooping where she wasn't welcomed' said Graham. According to the convict, she'd broken into his shed and was taking photographs and rifling through his belongings. He claims to feel no guilt over her death._ **

**_According to noted Psychiatrist Alana Bloom, former girlfriend of Hannibal Lecter and friend of Will Graham, Graham was manipulated by Lecter._ **

**_Slowly over the course of their relationship, Lecter learned of Graham's hidden illness and exacerbated his symptoms and even had him falsely accused of murder! He slowly began to alienate Graham from all the people in his life, leaving him to clutch to Lecter instead._ **

**_He murdered their surrogate daughter and let Graham think he'd done it. Participated in the unwilling abortion of the child that Graham had created with a woman whom we cannot reveal the identity of. Killed Graham's friend Beverly Katz(of the BAU). Started a romantic relationship with Alana Bloom in hopes of hurting Graham as he had been reported as having feelings for Ms. Bloom._ **

**_Everything was done in hopes of drawing Graham even closer and soon, Graham was caught in a web of lies and betrayal, fooled into believing Lecter adored him. Graham knew who Lecter was - though no one had believed him due to lack of proof or evidence - but has been manipulated so thoroughly he believes he is actually in love with Lecter!_ **

**_Ultimately, Lecter had been the player in the end, merely stringing everyone along in hopes of seeing them crash and burn. Alana Bloom suffers permanent hip and spinal damage, Abigail Hobbs - who had been found alive though dying in Lecter's kitchen alongside Graham - has passed, Graham is in a severe state of depression and can barely function on his own any longer, Crawford succumbed to his injuries and his wife of her Cancer, and countless victims have fallen at the hands of this master puppeteer._ **

**_Hannibal the Cannibal has left a horrifying legacy in his wake and we are reminded that high class and an attractive face can easily hide a monster._ **

**_Think twice before you open yourself up to someone, or else you may end up like Will Graham, who has been locked up in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane for the rest of his life!_ **

**_Rob Ginschack._ **

The final photograph was of Will, sitting in a padded cell, arms strapped to his body by the straight jacket, looking dead to the world. There was no cot, no toilet. Nothing but white, padded walls.

Freddie Lounds was dead. Had been dead for a while.

Will had killed her.

Will  _hadn't_  betrayed him then.

And Hannibal had… oh God.

* * *

"Do you at least want some music?"

Will could barely get up the energy to respond. It was like everything in him had been sucked out by a vacuum and he was left in this empty shell.

Music made him think of…  _him_.

"Will, I can't remove the jacket because I don't know if you'll try to kill yourself and I don't want that," said Alana softly.

She'd been put in charge of the BSHCI and had seen it fit to lighten the load around Will. At least, as best she could. She couldn't give him a pillow or a blanket else he may attempt to smother or strangle himself. She couldn't put anything in there with him, but she did talk to him and let him eat his favorite food and brought Winston to see him as she'd taken him in.

Will appreciated her efforts on his behalf, but he just couldn't.

There was nothing.

He'd been ready and then Hannibal…

He'd thought that they were fine.

Apparently not.

* * *

"You knew."

"Of course, but seeing as he wasn't  _my lover_ , I shouldn't have to think about him. I'm astounded that you waited six months before giving in. I figured you would have found out soon after I did."

Hannibal left her there, because he was so angry with himself.

Never had any of his senses failed him and yet, he'd made an elementary error.

And this time, he was certain that Will wouldn't even be present enough to listen to anything he had to say.

* * *

Hannibal took a boat back to America, knowing that a flight would be foolish. He was able to slip in past tourists and easily acquire transportation to Baltimore.

He'd studied up. He knew what to do and where to go.

Alana was his first stop and he made her death swift and merciful once learning that she had tried to ease Will's way after Hannibal's brash actions. Also, he took the dog. Will loved it and he would surely desire to leave with Hannibal if Winston was there.

The hospital was easy to break into with Alana's passwords and cards allowing him to easily bypass security and use hidden exits to get around. Her office - formerly Chilton's - was well maintained and Will's residence was held in a file on the left side of her desk, within reach.

She truly had felt for him.

Once Will's location was revealed, he took off silently, slipping past cameras and down two more floors. Seven doors kept Will away from the outside and Hannibal frowned upon seeing the state his Will was in.

He looked just like his photograph, except he was lying down, staring up at the white ceiling.

Hannibal locked in the key code and waited for the plastic door blocking Will off, to move.

Will gave no reaction to anything. He didn't move. His chest only rose and fell slightly, showing that he was indeed alive.

Slowly, carefully, Hannibal approached, calling out softly, "Will."

Nothing.

He tried again and merely got an eye roll.

"Will, it's rude not to respond when people are talking to you."

"I'm not interested in hallucinations. Go away."

"I'm not a hallucination."

"That's what you said every other time too," insisted the brunet.

"I'm very much here, Will. And I've… been made aware of my mistake."

Hannibal knelt beside the man, pulling out a handy switchblade and cutting apart the straps keeping Will locked up.

Will gave a humorless laugh. More like a cough. "'Mistake' my ass. He didn't want me. He left me."

Hannibal had perceived betrayal and had been wrong. And in doing said wrong, he'd instead been the betrayer. It left a bitter taste in his mouth and a roiling feeling in his stomach.

Will had completely given up on life because of Hannibal. Even with arms free he simply laid there, barely blinking, eyes heavily lidded.

Hating what he'd done to Will, Hannibal grabbed the pliant man and hoisted him into his arms, intent on carrying him out if he had to.

They made it out one of the exits and only when Hannibal was stuffing Will into the back seat with Winston, did someone finally take notice of what was going on. There was no time to savor these deaths. Hannibal went against his beliefs and drew the gun he'd taken from Alana.

Three security guards and one nurse were disposed of immediately and Hannibal quickly entered the vehicle and drove off.

He needed to get to port. They had to disappear and he felt that a good, long trip to Italy would do Will some good. Will liked boats.

* * *

Will stared because he'd yet to awaken from this dream that was just too good to be real. Because Hannibal was there and Winston was with him and everything was as it should have been.

Hannibal had him dressed in a suit and the two of them were under the guise of a newly married couple. Of all the fantasies he and Alana had concocted for TattleCrime, this had never been one of them. He and Hannibal had never been lovers or _in love_.

"Why?"

Hannibal was seated beside him.

The boat was stolen though Hannibal had made it seem as if it was his. He and Will shared the only bed below deck and Hannibal was insistently checking Will over, tsking at his sunken stomach and his protruding rib cage.

The man looked him in the eye and Will didn't feel moved to look away.

"There are many answers that come to mind, dear boy. You'll have to specify which you want."

"Why did you… hurt me?"

Hannibal sighed, "I admit that I was not in the right. I had assumed by my own sense of smell, that you hadn't killed Freddie Lounds and that you were simply playing me the entire time. I thought you planned to let Jack have me. I could not take the chance to forgive you for it."

"But… I gave you long pig. It was quite obviously form a human. Where did you think I got that from?"

"You were the one to dispose of Randall, so I thought you gave me him instead of Freddie for our meal."

Will stared, because he still hadn't gotten the one thing he wanted. More than a confession of love or adoration. More than a plea for Will to stay with him.

He wanted Hannibal to say it. Admitting faults was one thing. Begging for forgiveness was another.

Hannibal had to say it out loud if Will was to ever accept him back, because it had hurt. Being stabbed in the proverbial back by the person you consider a friend not only once but  _twice_ , and then to lose his perceived daughter to the same man  _twice_ , was painful. Hannibal had to apologize for any kind of healing to begin and even then, Will may never forgive him. Look past it, probably, but not forgive.

* * *

Hannibal sighed and clasped Will's cold hands.

"I know it isn't good enough and I know I've ruined all chances of your acceptance of me, but I am sorry, Will. I-I wish I had had more faith in you."

Will snorted bleakly, "So do I."

Will turned away from him then, laying on the bed and ignoring his presence completely, leaving Hannibal to stew in his morose thoughts.

He'd be making this up to Will for years.

He couldn't even find it in himself to be happy that Will was willingly coming with him.

The weight of his actions sat heavily on his conscience and for once this was not an outcome he'd planned for.

There was a saying about assumptions and Hannibal could recognize that he embodied it completely. Because he'd taken so much from Will simply because he connected a scent to the wrong person.

Regret burned.

_Thinking before acting is wisdom, but acting before thinking is regret. -Terry Mark._

* * *

**A/N: DONE!**

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